the ballpoint has run dry ...

"I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between."

-Sylvia Plath

WTC

The 106th floor of The World Trade Center ... it's hard to believe that I actually dined there.

Happiness is
That indescribable moment in time
When your head is clear
and your heart is full
Time stands still
  Tomorrow will wait
    Hope is everything
      Forgiveness is easy ...

My back is bleeding from what they don't know Hey, I know that this could be OK if you would only tell me what to do I buried a bone and darling you don't know him Pulled from the liquor cabinet, choose your mood and then start to wreak havoc Look at my facial hair (Oh man, hot damn! It's everywhere!) When I'm feeling blue I stick a pin in the picture of you beside my bed and I feel better It's no kind of life, am I man or mouse? To all my friends, present, past and beyond (Hey!) Everybody! (Everybody!) There'll come a time the smog will be so thick, Poke at my Iris, why can't I cry about this? When you were young you were the king of carrot flowers Hey, we caught another white snake tonight I know a place where we can go to be alone Don't you know I only want to be your man Last night, I had a dream we were inseparably entwined You only told me that you loved me when you knew you had control In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night I call your name God it's been a long time since I've seen my girlfriend It's not religion though I pray Look how the sun, captured by the rain, glimmers and falls, and lands in golden balls I don't know but I am winning I rationalize my shaking feet and legs as a constant rhythm flowing through my body Did you pick them shoes, to make your moves? When I met you baby I was passed out in the dirt ....

Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden because of an incident involving an apple, right? Wrong. Many biblical scholars suspect the fruit in question was either a fig, grape, or pomegranate. I mention this, Gemini, because I think you'd be wise to review your own personal myth of exile. It's time to question the story you have been telling yourself about how your paradise got lost. Evidence you discover in the coming days just might suggest that everything you've believed is at least half-wrong - that your origins are different from what you imagine. And as for the forbidden fruit that supposedly led you astray: You may realize that it was actually a precious medicine.

Really?
   Still?
It's been four years and you still can't get my name out of your mouth.
Jesus.
Get over it. You act like you are the victim of the whole debacle ...
If you must run your mouth, why don't you tell them the real deal?

How you literally left me to bleed and then turned the tables to
make me out as a psychopath. I'm sure it will come as quite a shock

to everyone.

Talk about what really happened and not just the version that has made you
feel better all these years. Fill your mouth with the version that nearly
destroyed me. Tell the truth ...
You probably don't even remember how. It amazes me how many people
still see something worthwhile in you. I see a sycophantic slug that treats
people according to the benefit they will supply to you.
I know that you know the real me. I know that you are aware of the kindness,
the devotion, the drive, all the great things that make me who I am. If you didn't,
you wouldn't have begged me to love you back ... biggest mistake I have ever made.
I have never loved and hated anyone but you ... and I detest the way it feels.
I am stronger now.
  I have grown and I have learned.
But I will never be entirely free of the damage you caused.
Jeff Klein, you are no hero, you are certainly no saint. And anyone that believes
a word out of your mouth, I don't want them in my life either. So go ahead and keep
trying to turn them all against me - it took some time but I finally figured out who I
can trust. I know more about the real you than anyone that you surround yourself
with ... I hope you can live with that.

"I like him. I have a weakness for losers. Invalids, foreigners, the fat boy of the class, the ones nobody ever wants to dance with. My heart beats for them. Maybe because I’ve always known that in some way I will forever be one of them."

" ....but on the way home tonight, you wish you'd picked him up, held him a bit. Just held him, very close to your heart, his cheek by the hollow of your shoulder, full of sleep. As if it were you who could, somehow, save him. For the moment not caring who you're supposed to be registered as. For the moment, anyway, no longer who the Caesars say you are."